Cats Are More Awesome Than Dogs
Yes I said it. Cats are more awesome than dogs. Before you freak out, let me state my case. Cats aren’t needy. They don’t see you as this superior being who takes care of you. They are like ‘whatev’. You can be a ‘cool cat’ in a band, but you can never be a ‘cool dog’. According to BuzzFeed, cats are really cool. Therefore, it is the truth.
Cats don’t love you as much as dogs do. But that’s perfect. Because we don’t need love, at all. Love is a social construct. Love is not real.
Cats sleep 70% of their lives. So basically you don’t have to worry about them. Imagine having a baby who doesn’t sleep? Like a dog. You don’t want that.
Convinced that cats are more awesome than dogs? If not, don’t worry. Install Voof app, in which we introduced a new feature that converts your dog into a cat for a limited amount of time, like a test drive. $3.99 for 48 hours, $6.99 for 2 weeks. What a deal for being part of the frontier of scientific innovation!
Also did you know: if you find a date through Voof, we also offer the complimentary service of dogsitting and/or catsitting. However we only do that for first dates. For second dates and third dates, we offer to watch your cats converted from dogs for free; for dogs, we charge 2 bags of large marshmallows per date.
But there is more! If you download Voof, and don’t find a boyfriend or girlfriend within 6 months, we will give you a cat for free as a consolation prize. If you prefer a dog, feel free to use our beta feature that converts a cat into a dog, as long as you feed it marshmallows.
So do you want to be a cool cat? Download Voof’s sister app Meow, that converts any human being into a cool cat, as long as you eat marshmallows at least 3 times a day.
Disclaimer: the conversion from human to feline is irreversible. Neither Voof or Meow is responsible for any regrets stemmed from this action.
What are you waiting for? Download Voof today to find your doggy love AND free dogsitting service. Also try Meow today to find your feline lover. I personally prefer the latter.
Happy April Fools Day!